The
Long Way Off
Chapter
1
“You are perfectly ordinary. That might be what I love
most about you, Liz,” he explained. “You are just a normal girl. I don’t have
to worry about you chasing after some big dream someday. You don’t have plans
to backpack around Europe or devote your life to curing cancer or anything like
that. I know that every day when I come home from work, you’ll be there waiting
for me. And I won’t have to worry about another guy trying to steal you away.
They can go after those other girls—”
“How is everything?” the waitress asked over her
shoulder as she carried a tray of food for another table.
“It’s great. Thanks,” Brian smiled at the waitress.
“Like her. The guy who marries her is always going to have to be watching to
see if someone else is trying to woo her away.”
Elizabeth stared blankly at him. Flashing only brief
moments of a courtesy smile. She pushed her spaghetti around with her fork. It
was delicious; this restaurant definitely lived up to the hype surrounding its
opening. She just didn’t have much of an appetite. It had been a long day.
“The thing is: life with you will be comfortable and
easy. Just what I’ve always imagined. It is like God made you to perfectly fit
into my life.”
Elizabeth smiled down at her plate. It was a
compliment, she told herself. That had been her goal, after all; to perfectly
fit somewhere. She had spent the past three years doing everything in her power
to make his life better. She was available when he had time for her. She
encouraged him in his studies and his ministry. She stood by his side when he
received awards for his scholarship and kissed his cheek after a great speech.
She fit the mold precisely. In return for her efforts, she was invited to
holiday dinners, vacations, and special occasions with his family. She had
someone to sit with at funerals, weddings, and the dinner table. She wasn’t
alone and there is a lot to be said for that.
Yet something wasn’t sitting right.
“Well, I have to use the restroom. Excuse me.” He
nodded his head, checking a message on his phone.
“Sure,” he said without looking up. “Hey, Seth and the
guys say ‘congratulations.’“ He chuckled as his thumbs typed a response.
She pushed back her chair as she stood. The
industrial-style heavy metal chair scraped against the stained concrete and
made a wretched screech. Brian almost dropped his phone at the noise. Several
people nearby turned to see who had dared to ruin their meal. A girl, one of
those beautiful girls that men would fight over, sneered in her direction. She
rolled her big, heavily lashed eyes and turned back towards her date.
That was the first time she saw him. He was watching
Elizabeth as she absorbed the glares of her fellow restaurant-goers. She fidgeted
in the center of attention; it was her least favorite place to be. He waited
for her to meet his gaze. When she did, they held eye contact. Even though he
was fifteen yards away, she could see his striking green eyes. He was very
handsome. A great counterpart to the beautiful girl at his table, she thought.
“Jeez,” Brian exclaimed, still looking down at his
phone. “Did you leave a rut in the concrete? Maybe you should have ordered that
salad instead.”
Elizabeth gave an embarrassed smile as she carefully
lifted the chair and placed it under the table. She pivoted on her heels and
took a step, nearly colliding with one of the servers. The man fluidly lifted a
tray of drinks up and over her, saving them both from causing another scene.
“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t….” she fumbled for words.
People kept watching her.
“Man, Liz. People are going to think you are drunk
because of your clumsiness. Great testimony,” Brian joked, shaking his head as
he raised his water glass in the air and looked around, as if engaged in an
awkward toast with all the disapproving customers.
Elizabeth didn’t respond. Like a magnet her eyes went
back to the man on the date. He was staring at Brian with a look of disdain.
When he turned his focus back to her, his green eyes didn’t cast a look of
frustration or annoyance. Rather, they were steady and unwavering. He lifted
the corner of his mouth in a smirk. With a small flick of his chin upwards, it
seemed like he was trying to inspire confidence in her.
Trying to take his cue, she straightened and smoothed
her dress. She mimicked his smirk and after checking for other servers, she
walked confidently yet quickly to the restroom, bypassing tables and restaurant
patrons who had already forgotten about her existence. She was content to be
invisible again.
She did a double-take in the restroom hallway. This
new restaurant was apparently too modern for typical Men and Women labels for
their restrooms. Rather, they had abstract drawings signifying each. Thoroughly
confused, she stood for a moment trying to decipher the symbols.
“Women’s is right there.” It was the server with whom
she had almost collided. He walked briskly past her to the kitchen, the empty
tray swinging in his hand.
“Thank you,” she tried to say but he was already gone.
Just then two teenage girls, dressed as if they had just finished walking the
stage at Fashion Week, pushed their way through the bathroom door, giggling
uncontrollably.
“Oh. My. Goodness. Who does that?” one girl laughed to
her friend.
Elizabeth let them pass. She recognized them from the
high school where she did ministry. They obviously didn’t recognize her, or
even see her. They let the heavy door slam in front of Elizabeth. Invisibility
has its down sides.
She stepped into the seemingly vacant restroom. It was
the first time all day that she had been alone.
Although she was an introvert, she didn’t often like to be alone. Most
of her life, she had been alone. She felt more comfortable in large groups. She
liked the noise and the feeling of being included, even if it was a facade.
Today was a day of lots of noise and a lot of people, yet she felt lonely all
the same. Groups of people seemed to talk about her rather than to her. When it
came to actual conversation, she preferred small groups and one-on-one conversations.
It was in those situations that God could use her to help others. As far as she
knew, that was her purpose in life.
As she walked to the sink and mirror, she heard the
sobs. In the stall next to the vanity a girl was crying quietly, but everything
echoed loudly in this bathroom with its cold, stainless steel and mirrored
walls. Elizabeth resisted the desire to call out to the girl. She probably
needs the solitude as much as I do right now, she pondered.
Elizabeth braced herself against the sink, closed her
eyes and took a deep breath trying to steady her whole being. It reminded her
of the time she went on a carnival ride with her grandpa. It spun around and
the force pushed her back against the wall and held her there. At seven years old, she wasn’t strong enough
to move her body against the centrifugal force so she just endured. Laughter
swirled around her, yet she just closed her eyes and waited for it to end. Her
grandpa reached over and held her hand. When the ride ended, he continued to
hold her hand as she dizzily walked off of the ride. He helped to steady her.
She wished he was there to hold her hand right now. The sink was cold and hard,
a poor replacement for a warm hand.
She opened her eyes when she heard the stall door
open. The girl walked to the sink next to her. She was wearing the signature
white top and black slacks that all the servers wore. Her name tag said,
“Grace.” She looked familiar. She thought she might have seen her at church
before. Grace adopted the same stance as Elizabeth, flattening her palms
against the sink, arms taught as if they were the only things keeping her
upright. Her shoulders drooped and she was just staring at herself in the
mirror, the tears still streaming out of her swollen eyes and down her wet, red
cheeks.
Elizabeth washed her hands thoroughly, more to wash
away her discomfort than germs. She could sense Grace shift her eyes to her
reflection in the mirror. Elizabeth kept looking down at the water as it
splashed off her hands and spiraled down the drain. Finally, she turned off the
water and turned to grab a paper towel from the basket sitting between the two
sinks. Her hand collided with Grace’s hand as she also reached for a towel.
“Oh, I’m sorry. You go first.” Elizabeth conceded.
“Thank you.” She blotted her cheeks and blew her nose
loudly. “I’m quite a sight.”
Elizabeth didn’t know what to say.
“Ugh…even my hair is a wreck.” Grace proceeded to pull
out the bobby pins that had secured her long auburn locks into a messy bun. One
of the pins fell from her shaky hands to the floor. Elizabeth bent down to pick
it up and placed it on the sink next to the others.
“Are you okay?” she managed to squeak out.
Fresh tears appeared and the waitress squeezed her
eyes tight.
“Some guys are just jerks!” she erupted. “They think
they can use a girl to get what they want and then just throw her out like,
like trash!” Her face turned to a scowl at the final word.
Elizabeth thought for a moment.
“Look, Grace…” she motioned to her name tag. “I don’t
know you but I can promise that you are worth much more than this. No guy
should treat you like that.”
“I am so dumb. I thought he really liked me, you
know?”
“One day you’ll meet someone who treats you how you
deserve,” Elizabeth offered.
“Well, it looks like you already found yours.” She
nodded towards the large diamond ring on her left hand, trying to lighten the
mood. “Dang, girl! How do you hold your hand up? Does he have a brother?”
They both chuckled. The girl wrapped one last tendril
around the bun and secured it with a pin.
“Thanks for making me feel better. I’m sorry for
making a scene. My manager is probably writing my pink slip right now.”
“No, you don’t have to apologize. I would do the
same,” Elizabeth hesitated at the door. “God bless you, Grace.”
Returning to the table, she wondered how much to
explain to Brian.
“Took you long enough. I already paid the bill. Are
you ready to go?” He yawned and pulled his hands through his sandy blond hair
and up into a stretch. “I’m tired. This has been a long day.”
“Um, sure.” As she pulled her purse out from under the
table, she saw the broken-hearted redhead walking proudly and defiantly from
the kitchen, past the bathroom doors with a glass of red wine in her hand. She
brushed past Elizabeth and whispered, “Watch this.”
Elizabeth turned to see her walk up to the table with
the blond and the man with green eyes. Grace stood over him and loud enough for
the whole restaurant to hear, proclaimed, “I’m worth more than this!”
At that, she poured the glass of wine on the front of
his freshly pressed, stark white shirt. There was a gasp across the restaurant.
The two teenage girls howled in laughter. One of the hostesses clapped
approvingly. A manager near the bar yelled, “Grace!” The blond at the table
jumped up.
Grace turned and assuredly sauntered to the kitchen,
throwing Elizabeth a sly smile as she passed. The manager wavered between
following her to demand her apron or helping his customer attempt to soak up
the merlot.
“Do you know her?” Brian asked. Elizabeth didn’t hear him
though. She was caught in a stare with the man with the green eyes and
burgundy-streaked shirt. The smirk remained, even as his date berated him with
questions and demanded their meal be paid for out of that “maniac’s check.”
Elizabeth couldn’t help but smile back at the ridiculousness of the situation
and his ability to remain cool and calm under these circumstances. Brian
grabbed her arm and led her to the door.
Walking through the front doors, the quiet of the city
street welcomed them. The students for the fall semester wouldn’t start
arriving until tomorrow. After the commotion of the restaurant, it felt
peaceful; a nice end to a chaotic “best day of her life.” At least that is what
others might call it. It hadn’t been a bad day by any means. There had been
many worse days in her life. She was happy, of course, but she hoped that this
was not the pinnacle of her life. If it truly was the best day of her life up
until this point, then she chose to be cautiously optimistic that it would not
remain so.
They walked to the car parked down the city block. The
air was thick and warm. In the flow of the streetlights she saw the
end-of-summer bugs swarm above their heads.
“That’s what I was talking about,” Brian began.
“What were you talking about?” Elizabeth smiled at
him, proud of having such a man of integrity to marry. She couldn’t imagine him
treating a woman the way the man in the restaurant had treated Grace. She
wrapped her arm around his.
He continued, “Pretty girls cause so much drama. It
makes me all the more thankful for you.” He playfully squeezed her close to
him.
Her smile melted away. She looked down at her newly
ornamented finger. She thought it might take her whole life to get used to the
weight of it. She splayed her fingers out in front of her to get another look
at it. In the scurry of the actual proposal, then the gathering of friends, and
then dinner, she hadn’t really taken the time to examine the massive diamond.
Standing at the stoplight waiting to cross the street, the stone reflected the
green light. Her thoughts went back to the man with the green eyes at the
restaurant.
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