The other day I took my two dogs for a walk through
the fresh fallen snow. Since there was no one around I let them roam off leash.
At the farthest point from my house on
this loop, my yellow Labrador, Molly, had to relieve herself. Of course, in my haste I had forgotten to
grab a bag, so after I dropped the girls off at home I headed back out with a
baggy to clean up her mess.
As I retraced our steps, I noted the three sets of
tracks in the crisp, white snow. First,
there were my boots. They were evenly spaced and made a perfect loop, marking
the walking path. Just to the left of the bootprints, were Mischa’s pawprints.
They were perfectly instep with mine, veering neither to the left nor the
right. Finally, there were Molly’s. Her
pawprints made a beautiful paisley pattern on the snow. There were happy loops
and swirls from one backyard fence to another, crossing the path every dozen
yards or so. She was having the time of her life and although it didn’t appear
so by looking at the whimsical tracks, every step had a purpose—sniff that
post, greet that neighbor, chase that squirrel.
In that
moment I realized that this is a good illustration of my marriage. On March 15,
2002 I was joined together with my husband George. At the time it seems we had
every reason to have a successful marriage. After all, we had a lot in common.
We had both been college students at THE Ohio State University. We both liked
soccer and running. We both liked to have fun and laugh. We both volunteered
our time in high school ministry.
Finally, we both loved God and found our salvation through a
relationship with Jesus Christ. Sure there were what we considered minor differences.
At restaurants he would order grilled chicken with a side of steamed broccoli
while I would order Supreme Nachos with a side of French Fries. On a study date
to the Math and Sciences Library once, he wanted to study and I wanted to play
hide and seek in the stacks. You know, little differences.
Engaged!
When the honeymoon was over, we quickly noticed just
how big those differences are. In fact, we noticed that we are probably the two
most different people who have ever been married. These major inherent
differences in our personalities have created quite a great deal of conflict
through the years—more than most couples could bear.
Married!
You see, I am like Molly. I am a meanderer. I prance
around life from one interest to another. I don’t like to follow rules, hate to
be told what to do, and only like to follow convention on my terms. Everything
I do is on purpose although to a bystander it often seems there is only
madness. I have big emotions, lots of happy and lots of sad and little control
over them. (She is the perpetually happy Labrador, of course, but when shamed she
is the most miserable dog ever).
George is like Mischa, a very disciplined, highly
obedient German Shepherd, who walks right by her owner’s side with precision
and efficiency--
(Okay, I have to be honest. Mischa is actually a
naughty, disobedient black Labrador. The only reason we had gone on a walk was
because Mischa had run away from home. Once I found her I had to walk halfway
across the neighborhood, uncomfortably bending to the side, holding her collar
tight in my hand. Of course her
pawprints matched mine step for step because she had no other choice. However, this ruins my metaphor so let’s
pretend she is a German Shepherd.)
So George is like a very disciplined, highly
obedient German Shepherd, who walks right by her owner’s side with precision
and efficiency. He is structured,
consistent, and responsible. He never veers off course. His emotions are even
and fairly invariable.
I operate on feeling. He operates on logic.
I am Peter. He is Paul. I’d be the one to try to
walk on the water with Jesus only to sink or cut off the ear of a servant in an
act of courage. George is the one who would have every Old Testament Scripture
memorized and could write theological letters to numerous cultures.
I am Ready, Fire, Aim. He is Ready, Create a Spreadsheet,
Determine the Vectors, Test the Wind Velocity, Doublecheck the Insurance
Policy, Fire.
We both walk this path of our life, but rarely meet
at the same spot. This can be very discouraging. Dare I say, this can be lonely
at times. It can be frustrating. Shoot,
even Peter and Paul couldn’t get along, as the Incident at Antioch can attest
(Galatians 2:11-14) so where does that leave us? If George and I could change ourselves so we
could walk alongside each other, we would. The truth is we can’t and we shouldn’t.
I have tried for years to change my meandering ways and walk a straight line.
To do so is unbelievably tiring and robs myself and my surroundings of the
gifts God has instilled in me. Aside from a few areas where my meandering
crosses over to sin, this is precisely how God made me. Aside from a few areas
where George’s Precision crosses over to sin, this is precisely how God made
him to be.
When we get too far away from each other, God, our
master calls us back together. Our love for Him, our admiration of Him, and our
obedience to Him is what gets us back to the same meeting place.
Though there have been times I’ve wondered why God
would choose to pair such opposites, I cannot deny all that he orchestrated to
bring us together. George could not
fulfill his God-given purpose without me and I could not fulfill mine without
him. Between the two of us, I believe we exhibit all of the fruit of the spirit
and almost every other good trait of which the Bible speaks. Our family system is one of checks and
balances and our family members are all the better for it.
So if you are in one of those marriages where your
pawprints never line up, be encouraged. The Lord is still watching over you,
keeping you both in sight of him and each other. Like a cord of three strands
whose ends are loose and frayed, God as the centerpiece, can braid you back
together again, making you stronger than ever and your reach to save the lost
even farther.
Whether you are married or not, be thankful for how
God made you. If you are an efficient traveler through life, precise in the
footprints you leave, your self-discipline and obedience is to be commended and
God has great plans to use those traits in your life’s work. If you are a
meanderer like me, do not let anyone tell you your steps are wrong. Chances are
you walk with compassion, love, and joy and the people around you NEED to
experience that through you. God had unique purposes for us all and only
through prayer and bible study can you discover what that might be.
May God bless you till you hear from me again!
William, My Fellow Meanderer
Jonathan, George's Fellow Precision Walker
Braden, Mr.Jump, Spin, Somersault, Sprint, Dance Walker
Scripture relating to this post:
Ephesians 4: 16- From {Christ} the
whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and
builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Ecclesiastes 4:12- Though one may
be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is
not quickly broken.
I Corinthians 12: 7-14 Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines. 12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
