In honor of my niece and thousands of other unsuspecting freshman walking onto college campuses next month, here is my list of things I learned first or secondhand.
1.
Not every campus has an active serial rapist
lurking in shadows.
In September of 1998, I left my
safe little suburb and headed to the extremely dangerous, urban metropolis of
Columbus, Ohio to attend the Ohio State University. According to my father, if
I walked alone anywhere at any time, I would surely be raped, kidnapped, mugged
or killed. Following this info on my first night out, I was left by my
loser-future-boyfriend at a bar around 10:00 or 10:30 (early by college
standards). I proceeded to run frantically the three blocks to my dorm in
hysterics. A man stepped out of a bus stop shelter to ask if I was okay and I
screamed and ran faster. I made it to my dorm, and through college alive and
you probably will, too.
That said, try to avoid walking
alone at night. I had an awesome friend named Adam that would walk me home
whenever we were out late. If no such friend is around, call campus security to
give you a ride. Most campuses have emergency stations where you can call them
directly.
2.
Try new things!
This is your chance to be exactly
who you wanted to be but weren’t courageous enough to be in high school. Walk
through the student activities fair with an open mind (and a big backpack
because they give a ton of stuff away!!!). Take some elective courses like
Social Dance, Tennis, Yoga, Acting, or Cooking. Just don’t fill up your
schedule with them or you will be there for 7 years. Eat new cuisines like
Indian, Ethiopian, Vegan, Greek, etc. Try out some fitness classes at the Rec
Center so all the pizza you eat doesn’t catch up with you. Put away the clothes
you wore in high school because they were considered cool and wear what you
like even if it means pajama pants to your early classes.
3.
Don’t be afraid to change your major.
It is easier to change your major
than change your career, especially early on. If you didn’t in high school, job
shadow someone with your career so you know what it is really like. Want to
spend quality time with patients at their sick bedside? Become a nurse or
hospice worker—not a doctor. Want to be an elementary school teacher but don’t
like talking to parents? Good luck with that. Do you really want to be a lawyer
or is that what your parents think you should be? Figure out your passions. Are
you pursuing a doctorate but you really want to be a stay at home mom one day?
You’ll have to work to pay off those 8 years of college, so would you be
willing to wait to have kids or work part time?
4.
Learn how to cook.
This may need to wait till your
first apartment unless your dorm has an actual kitchen. Word to the wise-Do not
eat Taco Bell every day and do not try to make Hamburger Helper without
hamburger. Just don’t.
5.
Make small mistakes.
Jump in Mirror Lake in mid-November
even though you will freeze and smell bad for three days. Skip a class to hang
out with a friend or to take a road trip once or twice. Scream at a football
game till you lose your voice. Stay up too late. Go on some bad dates. Quit
your lame part time job at the food court—and then beg for it back because you
are broke.
6.
Avoid big mistakes.
a.
Don’t get pregnant.
b.
Don’t fail out of school.
c.
Don’t drink and drive.
d.
Don’t open up credit cards and destroy your
financial future.
e.
Don’t sleep around—that guy probably isn’t who
he pretends to be and that will be a lonely walk home.
f.
Don’t eat taco bell every day.
7.
Start networking now.
Resist the urge to run out of class
as soon as you are dismissed. Find at least one professor and build a
professional relationship with him or her. Take advantage of office hours and
make yourself more than a face in a crowd. Having taught college I can assure
you that many instructors actually enjoy interacting with students, so don’t
feel like a burden. It will help boost your grade and you will find that these
relationships come in useful when you apply for your first job or graduate school
and you need a reference. There are other perks as well. Because of my husband’s
networking, we got to drive a Viper to our wedding reception!
8.
Use your free time wisely.
Sure I did my share of pointless
things in college like watching Boy Meets World every day at lunch, but I made
sure I used the time to build relationships. Hang out with people you think
will be in your life long term, even if it is while playing rice cake Frisbee
or making obstacle courses for cars on your street with trash cans. Just make your extra time count.
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| NordicTrak for sale!! |
9.
Get involved in a ministry. Your relationship
with God will fall to the wayside quickly if you don’t surround yourself with
people who encourage your faith. Find a way to share your faith with others.
Where would you be if no one had the guts or time to share theirs with you.
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| My soccer team at Worthington Kilbourne HS where I coached and led Young Life |
10.
Get some kind of job and start building your
savings account. You will need some money when you start out on your own in
your new career or until you find a job after graduation. If you are a guy, you
might find yourself in the blessed position to offer an engagement ring to a
pretty young thing and depending on her expectations, you will need a nice little
stash.
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| George proposing! |
11.
Talk to people who come from a different world
than you or who believe different things. Once you graduate, chances are you
will return to a similar environment to build your life as the one in which you
grew up. This might be your only opportunity to exist among such a myriad of
people. This is also the only time when people are willing to discuss their
views and religions because there is no fallout like there is in a workplace
later in life. Ask people what they believe and why they believe it and be
respectful of what they say. Perhaps they will give you a chance to share what
you believe. Have your testimony ready!!
12.
Call your parents every once in a while. They
probably miss you. And if they are paying for your tuition, thank them often.
You will understand just how much they helped you out when you hear all your
friends discussing student loan payments post-college.
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| Thanks, Mom & Dad, Barb and Rob, for no student loan debt! |
13.
Expect a weird roommate.
Probably more than once you will have a
roommate that you don’t understand. He or she will act totally crazy, have a
completely different communication style, have poor hygiene, hold different morals,
or accuse you of trying to kill her in front of the whole dorm*. Have grace and
try to be understanding, but don’t make yourself a doormat. If you don’t ever
have a weird roommate, then you are the weird roommate—do some self-reflection
and save everyone an awkward conversation.
 |
| If your roommate buys this, ask for a reassignment immediately. |
*Dear Lynn, for the record, I was not trying to kill you via pneumonia by
opening the window a crack. Your predilection for wearing sweats to bed was
causing you to actually sweat and toss and turn and I thought I was doing you a
favor! And by the way, cold weather doesn’t cause pneumonia, germs do!
14.
Find a mentor.
Remember how much junk and drama you
went through in high school? You are about to go through the same amount, but
this time there are long term consequences (who to date/marry? What major to
declare? Should I transfer?) Do yourself a favor and find someone in a more
advanced life stage with whom you can meet and talk to about life. This might take
some work, seeing as most adults try to avoid college campuses like the plague.
Good places to look might be a church, a ministry, or a job. This might also be
a good time to ask your parents or older siblings for advice on life. I
absolutely LOVE meeting with younger ladies so there are people out there who
would love to disciple you or mentor you.
 |
| My Mentors During College |
15.
Contrary to pop culture and movies, it is okay
to be a virgin when you enter college. It is okay if you’ve never had your
first kiss. Be weary of people who wear their sexuality on their sleeve and
will try to make you second guess your convictions on this subject, and they
might do it with a handsome smile and nice eyes.
16.
Contrary to judgmental religious folk, it is
okay to not be a virgin when you enter college. At the foot of the cross is
redemption and there are wonderful men and women of God who will accept you as
you are.
17.
Be silly.
You may not be a kid anymore but
thank the Lord you don’t have to act like an adult all the time yet! Go
sledding. Have dance parties. Fill a keg with root beer. Do funny things with
cardboard cutouts of Tom Cruise. Do handstands in the dorm elevators. Paint
your face scarlet and grey for a football game. Watch Dumb and Dumber until you
can answer this question: “Did you get a make of the vehicle?”
Be open to meeting new friends. My junior year a new blonde moved into my house and I instantly didn't like her. We went on a run together where we tried to Alpha-female each other and outrun each other, which almost killed us. We started laughing at our ridiculousness and have been best friends ever since!
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| Lindsey and I |
19. Go on a date you highly doubt will go anywhere.
On August 25, 2000, my longtime friend, George, asked me on a date. I had no hope that it would turn into anything more than hanging out as friends. Thirteen years, seven moves, five houses, four children, and two dogs later, we are still together! Who knew?!
 |
| My Family |
20.
Spend time by yourself.
You have just left a home where
you very interconnected whether you liked it or not. You are now moving into a
situation where you are now surrounded by strangers, friends, professors, etc.
who all want something from you. When you graduate you will be surrounded by
boyfriends or a spouse, bosses, landlords, neighbors, and friends who demand
something from you. Eventually you will have kids who will arrive with a
permanent IV attached to your heart that feels like a constant, although welcome
drain. Do yourself a favor and take time for yourself. In college I started
taking myself out to lunch. I saw movies by myself. My best semester of college
was when I cleared all classes off Thursday and Friday so I could road trip by
myself on the weekends. It was so good for my soul.
21.
Spend time with God.
You will have a moment in college
where you feel completely alone in the middle of a large crowd. If you’ve never
talked to God before, this is the time. Figure out who you believe he is and
find him. If your beliefs were correct, he will answer you when you seek him.
You may just find that he was there with you all along.
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