Please enjoy the first chapter of my work-in-progress, Lost and Found in Midian, Montana. This is the manuscript that I am actively pitching to agents and publishers. Tell me what you think in the comments, or on Facebook and be sure to subscribe to my newsletter for updates and giveaways!
The soundtrack to Shane
Olson’s demise was fitting for the nation’s most promising up-and-coming
pastor. Awkward greetings bounced unanswered off his enflamed face as he crossed
the threshold of Crosspointe, the church he had shepherded for five years. At the Welcome
booth, a coffee urn sputtered its last drops in the cup of the children’s
director, who watched through fearful eyes as Shane demanded, “Where’s Jonah?”
Just like the car radio during the frantic drive from his house, the soothing worship
song from the foyer’s speaker system tried to reason with him. He raced past
petrified church members with whom he had helped through various hardships.
Prayers against infertility, addiction, bankruptcy and lust echoed in his
memory with each bewildered face he passed.
Ignoring the screams of
the Holy Spirit in his head, Shane burst through the doors of the sanctuary.
Above the pews that he bathed in prayer prior to every church service, the air
was thick with tension. His breath heaved, as Sunday afternoon gossip slithered
between the congregants, forming a steady, serpentine hiss.
On the stage, a guitar, which
had two hours earlier strummed about mercy and grace, protested with a clamor as
an elder callously removed it from its rightful place. The motorized whirring
of the descending white screen promised to educate those in the pews, although
instead of offering scripture, the screens were expected to show all the reasons
why Shane needed to be removed from his position. He was too rogue, too direct,
too progressive and too transparent. His biggest flaw, though, was having
everything his closest friend had always wanted.
Standing at the podium,
Jonah Tanner, the best man at his wedding, cleared his throat
and stretched his neck, ready to complete his betrayal.
“Jonah!” Shane
yelled, surprised at the gruff sound of his own voice.
Jonah, sporting a
smug grin, extended a Machiavellian handshake as Shane bounded up the church
steps. Using his momentum, Shane swung his fist towards his friend’s face,
cracking the cheekbone. Screaming pain entered his knuckles and traveled up to
his shoulder. Jonah stumbled and fell on his side in front of the piano. Consumed
by the rage that he had long buried under spiritual disciplines and prayer,
Shane launched himself on top of Jonah. Shane no longer heard anything. The
furious pounding of blood in his ears drowned the Holy Spirit’s voice as he
ravaged the man who had stolen everything he loved in this life: his job, his
church, his reputation, and his wife.
God, why? Haven’t I been faithful? Haven’t I loved her unconditionally as
you have loved the church? Tristan is the only girl I’ve ever loved.
The sight of her
laying in their bed, twenty minutes earlier, wearing the satin slip he had
given her for their seventh anniversary had seared into his mind. She had been
startled to see her husband in the doorway, mere moments after her lover had
left her side. Fire engulfed his insides, raging up his throat and out his
eyes. When hands finally separated the two men, Shane saw his wife standing
over her lover’s blood-soaked face. Her eyes shone curiously at Shane. Was it
shame for her own actions? Pity, perhaps, at her husband’s miserable state?
No. It was disgust.
God, what have I
done?
He had to turn away
and found himself facing his church family, looking on in horror. It was then
that he noticed the dozens of cellphones, recording his downfall—sheep,
offering up their loving shepherd to the wolves.
***
In one moment, the
world as you know it can end. It was a truth of which Ryann Ashcroft was
reminded as she pressed her back against the icy stone, eighteen hundred miles
away from the Crosspointe church stage.
The newspaper had
predicted the first snowfall of the season for that evening and the morose clouds
hovering above the Gallatin mountains seemed keen to obey. A cold breeze
glided over the hills, startling the fallen leaves into a scurry. Shivers
pulsed through her, seizing her bad shoulder so that she didn’t know where the
physical pain ended and the sorrow began. She swallowed down the sob
threatening to choke her. She gasped, but the thin air didn’t satisfy her
burning lungs and she collapsed onto the blanket of grass. One tear, then
another. They felt hot upon release and quickly cooled as they rolled down her
temple and into her hair. Foregoing her usual façade of confidence and gloss,
she wept, just like the night she lost him. She imagined that the tears, which now
salted the grass and dried leaves, instead soaked into his shirt as she lay with
him on their bed. Her chest constricted. The memory of their final moments only
caused her to ache more.
Lord, I still miss him every day.
The thought which
haunted her was knowing it was her fault he was gone. She had made one mistake,
but that mistake led to more consequences than anyone should have to endure.
Six long years of consequences which fettered her soul and shackled her foreseeable
future.
I’m so sorry. I’d give anything to take that night back. I’d give anything
for a second chance.
The sorrow was
heavy. She felt herself sinking into the ground, the grass reaching its blades
around her. Rolling onto her back, she folded her hands across her chest, released
her breath and watched it rise to join the grey clouds in the sky, content to
allow the ground to swallow her whole. A peregrine soared overhead, seeking
sustenance for its journey south. She pitied the mouse or songbird who would lose
its life so that the falcon would live. They
had no choice in the matter. She still did.
Give me a chance for redemption. Give me a purpose, even if it requires
sacrifice.
She set her eyes on
an aspen branch above her. One single golden-brown leaf stubbornly remained
despite the wind that whipped it back and forth. Does it know that its
fate is sealed? Does it care? Either way, she applauded its efforts. She admired
that kind of resilience.
Lord, I’ll need your strength to endure.
The breeze weakened
and a warmth overtook her. She sat up and brushed away the red wisps of hair, matted
to her tear-soaked skin. With a composed
breath, she urged herself to face the marble stone. Her fingers traced the
grooves, waltzing up and down in lines and curves: Beloved Husband.
“I love you,
Matthew,” she whispered, before standing tall and brushing off her jeans. Ryann
thought she heard footsteps, crushing the October leaves. She perused the
field of headstones. The only other figure she could see was the concrete angel
in the center, the peregrine falcon perched atop her head, watching Ryann. She
felt uneasy and hurried towards the parking lot, careful not to step on the
grass directly in front of each stone. The smallest one drew her
attention every visit. Fresh flowers and a small, pink teddy bear leaned against it. Little
Annie Lawrence. Ryann had gone to school with her parents. It was hard to
believe that the same river that flowed peacefully past her cabin at her parents’
resort had taken the toddler’s life. She shuddered. They weren't like her. They did nothing to deserve their tragedy.
Out of sight, an
engine roared to life. It stopped Ryann cold. Dread filled her stomach and
spread through her body. She was a fool to think she was ever truly alone. Sullivan
Ashcroft wouldn’t allow that, especially not today, October 22nd. She and Vann
would be bound forever due to the events of this day six years ago-- her 21st
birthday and the day Matthew died.
Ryann pulled open
the door of her old Jeep. Before she could climb inside, the flapping of wings
startled her. The falcon ascended towards the clouds with the pink teddy bear clutched
in its talons. A knot formed in her stomach at his choice of prey, but the
feeling soon gave way to a strange sympathy for the predator that she could not
explain.
Lord, give me strength.